Grace Like Rain

This has seriously been a tough two weeks. I just have not been myself at all. I’ve been distant from my family, my friends, and worst of all, my God. But I asked Him for this. Before this rough stretch started, I prayed for God to something big, anything to make me stop this sin. And God, being so faithful, answered my prayer and brought me to my knees. I’ve never felt so lonely, so joyless, or so miserable than I have lately. I’ve felt no motivation to do schoolwork, to be a friend, to be around people in general, or to do really anything. The lies that I’ve believed for so very long just pounded in my head all day for the past few weeks-until today…

One of my classes got out early, and I decided to go take a run before lunch. It was the first time all week that I’d had enough energy to even think about running let alone do it. So I decided to go run, regardless of the rain coming down. As I started to trot along my usual route, I prayed that I would feel Jesus in some way, and once again he answered. I kept praying for God to just let it pour. And then the song “Nothing but the Blood of Jesus” kept playing in my head, especially the line “What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus,” as the rain came down. And at about the end of the second mile, I just felt Him. I can’t explain it. I just had this peace that He was there with me, and it was overwhelming. Do you know how hard is to see with rain, hair, and tears in your eyes?! Thoughts about how much He loved me, how valuable I was to Him flooded me. I just kept saying that I didn’t want this sin anymore, that I was tired of being apart from Him, that I was finally ready to just let it go and to never look back. And He kept speaking to my heart for the entire 5 miles, whispering truths and giving me such a peace about what is about to happen next on this journey of mine.

Today, I was reminded that He is everything. He is in me. He is of me. He is mine, and I am His. I can’t ever outrun Him. He was in every rain drop that touched me, cleansing me of my worries, my fears, and my failures. It’s that kind of feeling that we long for every single day.